About Me/About This Blog

I am the 50+-ish only son of an elderly mother who lives 1,500 miles away in an assisted living facility.

I visit her every three to four weeks, having lost my dad in March 2013 after three years of escalating health issues, moving them out of their house, declaring bankruptcy on their behalf and countless phone calls and health scares.

I wake up each day and go to sleep each night thinking about my mom and worrying about her well being, health and safety.

I know there are millions of people like me.

Mom is a 78-year-old Type 1 brittle diabetic, having been diagnosed when she was 11. You don’t meet many of them because they don’t exist. She was not supposed to live into her 50s, and continues to defy the odds. 9 months ago, she was told she’d never walk again. After her 6th back surgery, she is walking with a walker.

Dad was 81 and had Alzheimer’s. He had multiple health issues, was in and out of rehab. It was his time, and he was ready. I am at peace.

My younger sister lives 5 miles from my mom, sees her occasionally, and has her own demons to fight. She does the best she can, I have realized, after spending way too much time and energy being angry with her.

My parents are MY responsibility.

I hope that by starting this blog, relating my experiences, and sharing others’ we will all learn something about the care of our aging parents.

For the privacy of my family, I remain anonymous to most.

Let’s help each other help them.

4 Responses to “About Me/About This Blog”

  1. I nominated your for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award – just wanted you to know I appreciate what you share. Thank you. – Kay

  2. Thanks so very much Kay!!

  3. Hi and thank you for your blog.
    My mother, 99 years old, has dementia but still knows me and plays cards and bingo, lives in a long term care facility, but is declining. She is starting to become more quiet, vacant, but not anywhere near corpse like and bedridden. Very hard to watch her slow changes but I accept where she is. The problem is my brother out of state is her guardian. He dislikes me. He has ordered staff not to tell me anything about mom and her status. I can only get info from him via email but with a caveat that he can be cruel and with hold any info on mom just because he can. So I have limited help In Understanding moms plight in the moment. Her advanced directives have been changed by him and the facility and hospice to include no IV for dehydration nor antibiotics for infection. Oral antibiotics are allowed.
    My fear is that mom because she has dementia (a terminal disease ) will die from a treatable ailment in great discomfort. The state I live in does not support legally the right to die.

    When I try to get clarification on the directives I am concerned about, he tells me he’s in charge and to butt out basically. The facility is mute to me and refers me to my brother.

    I feel I need legal help or calling on govt agencies in getting help with understanding these matters since the guardian is non responsive. I don’t want mom to suffer at the end of her life, not hastened death.

    Any thoughts are appreciated.
    Worried Daughter

  4. Hello ,

    My name is India, from Caring.com. I recently came across your blog and I was very impressed with it. I appreciate that your openness about your parents illness and your sister with your Your blog made me think of one of our internal articles that might resonate with her readership: Young Caregivers in the U.S. Face Adult Challenges

    For a little more about Caring – we have more than 3 million monthly visitors and are a leading senior care website. More information about the work we do can be found here: https://www.caring.com/about/index

    Do you think this article would be something she would be able to post on your page?

    Thanks for your time and consideration,

    India, Caring.com

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: