Advertisements
 

I Made You A Promise Dad

It’s been 8 months since my dad died, and with Chanukah and Thanksgiving, I am feeling it.

On a recent visit to Mom, I was reminded of the absurdity of it all. In essence, I travel 1,500 miles to change batteries, when my sister and brother in law live 5 miles away. When I’m there, my days are full of going through mail, doing chores, fixing things, and yes–changing batteries.

I try not to get angry, but sometimes it just gets to me–especially when my work is so busy, and I’m on a plane every other week.

I remind myself that I promised my dad that I would never let anything come between my sister and I again, and I’m determined to keep that promise.

My mom’s mind is starting to fail–she reads me full pieces of mail, either in person or on the phone–about health insurance or some other scam that people use to prey on elder  people. She is SO their target.

She is still grieving and doesn’t realize how far she’s come. I attended a grief counselling session with her and reminded her of where she was 3 months ago.

The most frustrating part is listening to her vent about my sister, my brother in law and my niece. I’m angry myself, and it’s so difficult to know she’s right. But then there’s that promise.

I try to make her see how far my sister’s come–and she has. It’s just not within her to be warm and fuzzy and to spend the amount of time I do. It’s just not who she is, and I’ve begrudgingly come to accept that. 

I won’t fracture our relationship ever again.

It puts me in a tough position, and I can’t go to the person I’d normally go to for advice. 

I miss you dad, but I’ll keep my promise.

Dad lighting Chanukah candles at his facility one year ago after leaving rehab and given a second chance. He died three months later.

Dad lighting Chanukah candles at his facility one year ago after leaving rehab and given a second chance. He died three months later.

Advertisements

~ by Butch on November 29, 2013.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: