I Cant Focus


Today I left my wallet home for the first time ever.
While I proved you CAN get around New York City with just a MetroCard and a Starbucks App for sustenance, it IS part of a disturbing trend.

I left wet laundry in the dryer for 4 days.
I misplace clothes, keys, electronic devices.
My husband says he misses me even though I’m physically sitting right next to him.

I’m about as present as my mom has been lately.

HOW am I starting a new job?

I need to set some boundaries, and I don’t seem capable of doing so.

If I don’t take the calls, make the calls, pay the bills, speak to the doctors, calm my parents……the list goes on…..Who will?

Dad is overwhelmed and exhausted merely from spending the day with her.

She forgets he’s with her if he steps away or if she is in with a doctor and she calls his phone asking where he is. Then she talks gibberish to him.

And, HE’S the one with Alzheimer’s.

Mom’s Cat Scan came back with no new strokes. The confusion, the doctors feel, is from meds. She’s over medicated. They’ve cut it back and are taking it day by day.

I spoke to her for the first time in days today. She also left my cousin a phone message.
Encouraging until she starts speaking. She’s convinced they are poisoning the food and doesn’t want to stay there.

She doesn’t want to get anyone in trouble and begged me not to tell anyone. As soon as someone came into the room, she said she had to go and asked me to call her back later.

I didn’t.

I couldn’t.

She told the doctor the same thing.

They ARE NOT poisoning her food, but they are not giving her the physical therapy she needs either. I’m sure it’s due to her weakness from not eating (the poison food) and her mental state.

I have calls in which will of course eat up part of my day tomorrow. Depending on what I’m told, the doctor and I may move her next week.

There is no end.

~ by Butch on March 22, 2012.

One Response to “I Cant Focus”

  1. Breathe. Take a walk. Maybe it’s time to step back and talk with a Geriatric Care Manager.

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